This article is meant for those who are walking around without that special someone to hold their hand. To all the lovers out there… yes, we are jealous. What are we doing wrong? Show us the way oh magical ones.
The following is a compiled list of resolutions, to take upon, to hopefully not remain the forever single friend of the group. With these tips in mind, we too will be deserving of a proper divorce, 20 years down the road.
Losing weight. Quitting cigarettes. Drinking less. The three things people try to change about themselves each and every year. I would even go as far as saying they are the most iconic trio since Destiny’s Child.
Much like Beyoncé, in this situation, focus on one of these improvements and cut the other two. Gradually, introduce solo careers for both your other resolutions and hope for the best. Legendary divas aside, these basic changes are the hardest to maintain, and easiest to falter on. Don’t feel bad if you slip up. We’re all human (unless we’re being Westworlded into believing we’re real).
The Mobile Apps
Finding love in the digital age can be hectic and completely irritating. Not only are there more apps than one person can manage, but are said apps even working. There’s Grindr, Hornet, Scruff, Tinder, Bumble, Jack’d, and a whole bunch more and new ones popping up every day. Have these apps failed us simply because we don’t have a profile on the same app as our soulmates?
I’m as guilty as the next gay to have used and abused my data plan searching for some tender love and care from a gentleman caller. This isn’t the part where I lecture you on the benefits of meeting people IRL for the first time. Who the heck has the time for all of that? In fact, I encourage you all to talk to as many guys online. Once you’ve acquired a plethora of conversations with beautiful specimens, your goal is to ask them out on a date. The important part is to not freak out if you get rejected. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.
I don’t want anybody to take what I’m about to say next as slut shaming. I am all for knowing what you want and going for it gun’s blazing. On that note, how about everyone commits to not sending a dick pic as their first message, on any of these apps? I’m not even telling you to stop sending them altogether. Just say hi first. That’s all.
The Adult Sleepovers
When it comes to activities of the nocturnal persuasion, honey, you do you. Whether you believe in saving your unmentionables until actual commitment is visible on the horizon or spreading your charm far and wide, there is nothing wrong with either of those options. Some of you might live for the build-up and the mystery that waiting can bring. Others might want to test-drive their new Subaru before making that down payment. Once again, you do you boo.
If you want to make a change in your sexual habits, I might have a small solution that won’t completely alter your current lifestyle within your gay community. If you are notorious for bringing people home, try and limit yourself to a set number. Now, whether that be yearly, monthly, weekly or who knows maybe even daily, that is all up to you.
On the other hand, if you never indulge in some nighttime delights, let yourself loose and bring someone home once in a while. If you decide not to hook up with your lucky guy, you can always cuddle. Who doesn’t love a good cuddle?
Think about it this way: the more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll realize what you don’t want from a relationship. Rejection and heartbreak are part of the game. However, so are excitement, self-discovery, and ultimately love. So, let’s enter the world of dating with a bang (pun-intended) and let’s find ourselves a caring and loving boyfriend. Oh, and hot. Obviously.